Before and after: the Eligibility pages
The RFP asks for copy “in plain English with as few technical terms and jargon as possible”. Here is what that looks like on two of your most important pages.
The scores
| Page | Reading level | Reading ease | Sentence length | Terms |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Eligibility: ages 3 and older | 16.0 → 5.6school grade | 9.8 → 71.1reading ease (higher is easier) | 16.7 → 9.1words per sentence | 17 → 3legal or clinical terms |
| Eligibility: birth to 3 | 15.0 → 4.8school grade | 23.4 → 77.2reading ease (higher is easier) | 20.0 → 9.2words per sentence | 12 → 1legal or clinical terms |
Measured with textstat 0.7.13 on 25 October 2026, the same way for both versions: page text only, and every heading and list item counted as its own sentence. Live pages: ages 3 and older, birth to 3.
One rule, before and after
Before (live page, ages 3 and older)
“be a substantial disability as defined by Title 17, Section 54001 of the California Code of Regulations, meaning the person experiences significant limitations in three or more of the following areas: self-care, language, learning, mobility, self-direction, capacity for independent living, economic self-sufficiency”
After
It makes daily life much harder. The person has big challenges in at least 3 of these areas: taking care of themselves, like eating, dressing and washing; language: understanding words and using them; learning; moving around; making their own choices and plans; living on their own; earning and handling money.
What we changed
- One idea per sentence. The average sentence is about half as long.
- Everyday words for legal and clinical ones, listed below.
- The law moved, not deleted. Every code section is still on the page, under “For the details: what the law says”.
- The page answers “what happens next”. We added facts from your own Intake page: applying is free, citizenship status doesn’t matter, and how long a decision takes.
- Nothing removed from the rules. Every condition, every area of life and every number is still there.
| Live page says | Rewrite says |
|---|---|
| originate prior to age 18 | started before they turned 18 |
| be expected to continue indefinitely | is not expected to go away |
| a substantial disability … significant limitations in three or more of the following areas | big challenges in at least 3 of these areas |
| self-direction | making their own choices and plans |
| capacity for independent living | living on their own |
| economic self-sufficiency | earning and handling money |
| any handicapping condition that is solely psychiatric | a mental health condition does not count by itself |
| receptive communication / expressive communication | understanding what others say / talking |
| adaptive … development | everyday skills, like eating and dressing |
| established risk conditions of known etiology | a diagnosed condition with a known cause |
| a combination of biomedical risk factors … diagnosed by qualified personnel | several health risks, found by a qualified professional |
Read the full rewrites: ages 3 and older · birth to 3.
Across the whole site
Your site has 124 pages and about 98,000 words of page text (25 October 2026). We would start with the pages families use most: Intake, both Eligibility pages, Services by age, the Family Resource Center and Fair Hearings. The staff style guide keeps new pages plain after launch.